Synchronicity

It scares me sometimes. I’m waving, I’m smiling. I am laughing or passing a meaningless salutation to a passerby. I am a nice guy. But under that. Just below the surface I find myself loathing. I don’t see anything so much as it flashes by me. This monster is selfish. It concentrates on only how these bloated self medicating sacks can be of benefit to me. The baby that passes in it’s cart, pushed by a mother who doesn’t hear it’s cries or smell that it’s diaper reeks of fecal matter just threatening to overflow. The child who is sick but is getting slapped by father telling him to stop acting up even as the traces of vomit still dry on the childs lips. This is what I find disgusting. And the most comforting part of this monster is that he doesn’t suggest a way that I could do it better, he does not suggest that I take the responsibilty for the child or address the parents in any manner. The monster only observes those lesser than me. It invalidates existence and breaks down every person to that one pulsing question: “What can they do for me?” I see a select few that I choose to care about. In the general public, their faces would stand out to me, blots of color in a sea of nothing. I have no connection to the everyman. That one unifying substance between all of humanity conveniently decided to leave me out of the loop. I can’t say that I care.

Synchronicity

It scares me sometimes. I’m waving, I’m smiling. I am laughing or passing a meaningless salutation to a passerby. I am a nice guy. But under that. Just below the surface I find myself loathing. I don’t see anything so much as it flashes by me. This monster is selfish. It concentrates on only how these bloated self medicating sacks can be of benefit to me. The baby that passes in it’s cart, pushed by a mother who doesn’t hear it’s cries or smell that it’s diaper reeks of fecal matter just threatening to overflow. The child who is sick but is getting slapped by father telling him to stop acting up even as the traces of vomit still dry on the childs lips. This is what I find disgusting. And the most comforting part of this monster is that he doesn’t suggest a way that I could do it better, he does not suggest that I take the responsibilty for the child or address the parents in any manner. The monster only observes those lesser than me. It invalidates existence and breaks down every person to that one pulsing question: “What can they do for me?” I see a select few that I choose to care about. In the general public, their faces would stand out to me, blots of color in a sea of nothing. I have no connection to the everyman. That one unifying substance between all of humanity conveniently decided to leave me out of the loop. I can’t say that I care.

Posted 2 years ago

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